I do not like saying goodbye. If you could make a career out of avoiding this, I would be the President and CEO of that particular company. I'm not really sure why I am so reluctant to say goodbye to people because once it is all said and done, I'm generally okay with them being gone. I know, I know, I'm heartless. Say what you will, but I've come to terms with my rare ability, and part of it is that I don't ever say goodbye in the first place.
I like to think of life as a book. Life is just one long story that we tell to many or no people when the time comes. Growing up, I never had that many friends that I can remember. People say to me all the time, "Oh, that's not true, you had friends." No, really, I didn't. I was always that shy, awkward girl that people knew about but never acknowledged. Sure, I had a handful of friends but it wasn't until I was older that I realized how many friends I really did have. It took me leaving before I could appreciate how many people I had in my life for support, and it will take me leaving again to make me see the full impact I've had on a person's life and theirs on mine.
I have a friend who leaves all the time. Each time this has happened, I haven't been all that upset about saying goodbye. I'm not sad because I know that she will always come back. But she's leaving again, and this time, I know she isn't returning in a few months. For the first time in six years, we won't be living thirty minutes away from each other. I know this because I'm leaving, too, and I don't know if we'll ever live near each other again.
One of the beautiful things about life is that it is never predictable. Sometimes you can count on life being the same for a while, but eventually, it has to change. I've had the incredible privilege to have some of the best friends a person could ask for in life. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to rely on people and not constantly be worrying about how you are going to do it alone. My years in Lawrence have provided a wealth of friendships in all facets of my life, and I don't know what I would have done without them with me along the way.
In a few short months, I will have to say goodbye. I will begin a new chapter of my life, and my few years in college will soon be a memory. A very fond memory, no doubt. Recently, I was forced to say goodbye. But, in true fashion, I refused to do so.
I stood outside my home as I watched my friends hug one another and say their farewells. I turned to my friend and wished her good luck once more, knowing that it was the same thing I said every time she left. As she turned to walk down the stairs I added, "See you later," because even though I know I should really say goodbye, I'm just not the type.
Because you don't say goodbye to the people you're bringing to the next chapter.
