Proofreading is Your Friend

Recently, I took a visit to a restaurant that I didn't necessarily want to go to, and my experience there only furthered my dislike of said eatery. I walked over to find a lid to my drink, and while I perused the utensil section, I noticed something that to this day makes my blood boil. There, created by a label maker, was a sign that said: Knifes.

I would hope that the readers of this blog know that calling something "knifes" is a grammar fail. Knifes do not exist, and I will never forgive someone who thinks otherwise. Sure, call me a "Grammar Nazi," but seriously, I think you learn about plurals in the third grade. Get it together, people.

I haven't always been a stickler for grammar. In fact, I still don't completely understand all the rules of grammar and do not consider myself an expert on the matter. But chalk it up to the fact that I am going to be an English teacher, that I read anything I can get my hands on, or you know, the simple fact that I spent two years writing a piece of literature, I've changed my ways. Part of me still doesn't care how people speak or write, but deep down inside, there is a small fragment itching to be free.

I think part of me has turned into such a grammar fanatic because I'm afraid of what is happening to the English language. It's not just "knifes" anymore. Through working in schools, I have seen so many words misspelled and misused that I never thought I'd ever see. Good lord, every computer has spellcheck on it, and phones basically write your text messages now. Proofread your things, people! Don't even get me started on what "there" to use. It. Is. Not. That. Hard.

I must admit, I am terrified to make mistakes when it comes to grammar. Yes, I spent four years studying English, so I should know every rule and how to implement it, right? Wrong. They don't teach you the grammar rules in college. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW. It is funny how you assume they would mention the important things, but they don't. You basically just float about your career path hoping you aren't making monumental mistakes. It's super.

My favorite thing is watching the behavior of people change when they realize what I am training to do for a living. My own parents tell me, "Don't judge me on my grammar." Let me tell you this: unless you say, "knifes," I'm probably not paying attention to your word choice. In fact, I usually just laugh about it. I don't want people getting the impression that because I have a degree in English, I am suddenly better than you at all things English. Because I'm not. I just tend to be sarcastic 85% of the time, which is my downfall.

But I swear if you use the word "ain't,"we will be having a chat.

This is my soapbox, and I will continue to vent about it until the end of time. The world is changing, and I can only do so much to ensure that the future of the English language is not going to completely fall apart. I just ask that we all take a moment to remember what we were taught in Elementary school. I'd also like us to remember one thing...

The exprets maek mistkaes, too.