I do not like saying goodbye. If you could make a career out of avoiding this, I would be the President and CEO of that particular company. I'm not really sure why I am so reluctant to say goodbye to people because once it is all said and done, I'm generally okay with them being gone. I know, I know, I'm heartless. Say what you will, but I've come to terms with my rare ability, and part of it is that I don't ever say goodbye in the first place.
I like to think of life as a book. Life is just one long story that we tell to many or no people when the time comes. Growing up, I never had that many friends that I can remember. People say to me all the time, "Oh, that's not true, you had friends." No, really, I didn't. I was always that shy, awkward girl that people knew about but never acknowledged. Sure, I had a handful of friends but it wasn't until I was older that I realized how many friends I really did have. It took me leaving before I could appreciate how many people I had in my life for support, and it will take me leaving again to make me see the full impact I've had on a person's life and theirs on mine.
I have a friend who leaves all the time. Each time this has happened, I haven't been all that upset about saying goodbye. I'm not sad because I know that she will always come back. But she's leaving again, and this time, I know she isn't returning in a few months. For the first time in six years, we won't be living thirty minutes away from each other. I know this because I'm leaving, too, and I don't know if we'll ever live near each other again.
One of the beautiful things about life is that it is never predictable. Sometimes you can count on life being the same for a while, but eventually, it has to change. I've had the incredible privilege to have some of the best friends a person could ask for in life. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to rely on people and not constantly be worrying about how you are going to do it alone. My years in Lawrence have provided a wealth of friendships in all facets of my life, and I don't know what I would have done without them with me along the way.
In a few short months, I will have to say goodbye. I will begin a new chapter of my life, and my few years in college will soon be a memory. A very fond memory, no doubt. Recently, I was forced to say goodbye. But, in true fashion, I refused to do so.
I stood outside my home as I watched my friends hug one another and say their farewells. I turned to my friend and wished her good luck once more, knowing that it was the same thing I said every time she left. As she turned to walk down the stairs I added, "See you later," because even though I know I should really say goodbye, I'm just not the type.
Because you don't say goodbye to the people you're bringing to the next chapter.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Hungry For Sports
Two years ago, I picked up a book in a store. I turned it over in my hands and looked at the cover for a while before deciding that I would buy it. I had heard about this book, but an unfortunate class experience left me knowing how it already ended. (Side note: I HATE when people ruin books) This book had a few followers already, but I never knew that a book about killing children would become such a sensation around the world.
Of course, I should have known. It was essentially a book about sports.
I wish I didn't care so much about sports. I wish I could be the person who spends the weekends knitting or planting flowers in the garden, never thinking about a team or sport, only about the project. Alas, I was never meant to be that person. I love sports. But, it is more than just love, I am passionate about sports. No, I was never very good at playing sports, but I am excellent at watching sports.
I'm also really good at yelling at the television.
I attend a prominent university with a great sports program. The inventor of the game of basketball lived and coached here, and the basketball program has a storied past. Sure, I love other sports, but nothing can take the place of basketball. I have spent more time yelling, crying, rejoicing, and cursing that team more than I care to admit. I always tell myself as March rolls around, "Now Chesney, you can't be as worked up as you were last year." But at the end of the day, I still feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and my voice is hoarse from yelling the last ten minutes of a nail-biter.
Funny enough, I sometimes have the same reactions with books.
This is where I plug the book, The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. On the surface, one would think this is the worst book ever printed. It is about children thrown in an arena and forced to kill one another for food. Literally. I am not joking. It is a very popular book, and I can safely say it is in my list of top ten favorite books. I started to think about why I liked this book so much and why people are so obsessed with it as well.
My answer? Sports.
Sure, it's a bit of a stretch, but the events of this book are not too far off from a sporting event. There are competitors. There are uniforms. People watch and pick sides. The competitors fight. Someone wins. The only difference being, of course, in order to win you must kill other people. I honestly don't know what it is about the book, but I couldn't put it down. I read it straight through and even though I knew what happened in the end, I was fretting the entire way through it.
I'm pretty sure I live to feel anxious. I watch sports on the edge of my seat, and I fret until the buzzer sounds and a winner is announced. I read books so fast that I miss parts of it, but I can't help it because I have to know what happens or I might spontaneously combust. As the pages are turned and the seconds tick away, my heart pounds and my palms begin to sweat. I stand up and pace, and I can hear the crowd roaring in the background all wondering one thing...
Who is going to win?
Of course, I should have known. It was essentially a book about sports.
I wish I didn't care so much about sports. I wish I could be the person who spends the weekends knitting or planting flowers in the garden, never thinking about a team or sport, only about the project. Alas, I was never meant to be that person. I love sports. But, it is more than just love, I am passionate about sports. No, I was never very good at playing sports, but I am excellent at watching sports.
I'm also really good at yelling at the television.
I attend a prominent university with a great sports program. The inventor of the game of basketball lived and coached here, and the basketball program has a storied past. Sure, I love other sports, but nothing can take the place of basketball. I have spent more time yelling, crying, rejoicing, and cursing that team more than I care to admit. I always tell myself as March rolls around, "Now Chesney, you can't be as worked up as you were last year." But at the end of the day, I still feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and my voice is hoarse from yelling the last ten minutes of a nail-biter.
Funny enough, I sometimes have the same reactions with books.
This is where I plug the book, The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. On the surface, one would think this is the worst book ever printed. It is about children thrown in an arena and forced to kill one another for food. Literally. I am not joking. It is a very popular book, and I can safely say it is in my list of top ten favorite books. I started to think about why I liked this book so much and why people are so obsessed with it as well.
My answer? Sports.
Sure, it's a bit of a stretch, but the events of this book are not too far off from a sporting event. There are competitors. There are uniforms. People watch and pick sides. The competitors fight. Someone wins. The only difference being, of course, in order to win you must kill other people. I honestly don't know what it is about the book, but I couldn't put it down. I read it straight through and even though I knew what happened in the end, I was fretting the entire way through it.
I'm pretty sure I live to feel anxious. I watch sports on the edge of my seat, and I fret until the buzzer sounds and a winner is announced. I read books so fast that I miss parts of it, but I can't help it because I have to know what happens or I might spontaneously combust. As the pages are turned and the seconds tick away, my heart pounds and my palms begin to sweat. I stand up and pace, and I can hear the crowd roaring in the background all wondering one thing...
Who is going to win?
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Day By Day
I am a control freak. It is both a blessing and a curse for me. For the most part, my controlling tendencies revolve around planning days, events, outings, things of that nature. I have to plan each detail, even if it is just for me. I hate when people say, "let's just wing it." No, no, no. We are not going to just "wing it," we are going to plan it. My friends and family think I am a bit neurotic, and they laugh when I produce schedules for certain outings. I can't help it; I plan because I don't like the feeling of being out of control. So you can imagine my surprise when I was told nine simple words...
We are going to take it day by day.
There are several ways that a person can deal with bad news. Most, and I can count myself among them, cry about it for a very long time. Others, and I can also count myself among them, pick themselves up and cope with the bad news by telling themselves, "It could be so much worse." Then you have people that simply avoid the bad news altogether, and I can't say that I haven't fallen under that category at some point as well.
I can't control life, and frankly, I don't want to do that. My life has never been normal, and I should know by now that it never will be. My family and I have to deal with things that most people will never have to deal with, and while that is not ideal, I don't think I would want it any other way. We are stronger because of our trials, and we find greater joy in our triumphs because of it. We adjust to these changes not because we want to but because we must.
I have to learn to take it day by day.
I plan each day for my job, and I plan time with my friends and family. I have planned my life up until this point, and I have checked off each goal along the way. But I have realized that this is going to need to change. This new journey in my life cannot be planned, and while there are aspects that I will continue to control, at a certain point I have to let go.
There is so much to life that we don't understand, and I think that sometimes I forget that I can't know everything about it. I can curse the world all I want but that isn't going to stop it from turning. I could try to control it, but in the end I will be in a fight that I cannot win. But each day, I have the opportunity to wake up and make it the best that I can. I have the opportunity to live the life that I want to live. I have the opportunity to tell my friends and family that I love them, and those parts I can control.
And sometimes, every once in a while, I'm just going to have to wing it.
We are going to take it day by day.
There are several ways that a person can deal with bad news. Most, and I can count myself among them, cry about it for a very long time. Others, and I can also count myself among them, pick themselves up and cope with the bad news by telling themselves, "It could be so much worse." Then you have people that simply avoid the bad news altogether, and I can't say that I haven't fallen under that category at some point as well.
I can't control life, and frankly, I don't want to do that. My life has never been normal, and I should know by now that it never will be. My family and I have to deal with things that most people will never have to deal with, and while that is not ideal, I don't think I would want it any other way. We are stronger because of our trials, and we find greater joy in our triumphs because of it. We adjust to these changes not because we want to but because we must.
I have to learn to take it day by day.
I plan each day for my job, and I plan time with my friends and family. I have planned my life up until this point, and I have checked off each goal along the way. But I have realized that this is going to need to change. This new journey in my life cannot be planned, and while there are aspects that I will continue to control, at a certain point I have to let go.
There is so much to life that we don't understand, and I think that sometimes I forget that I can't know everything about it. I can curse the world all I want but that isn't going to stop it from turning. I could try to control it, but in the end I will be in a fight that I cannot win. But each day, I have the opportunity to wake up and make it the best that I can. I have the opportunity to live the life that I want to live. I have the opportunity to tell my friends and family that I love them, and those parts I can control.
And sometimes, every once in a while, I'm just going to have to wing it.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Puzzles
The best gift that I received this holiday season probably cost about $2.00, but it is a gift that I will never forget. It came in homemade wrapping paper, colored red and yellow with a Jayhawk on the front of it. When I peeled back the paper, I saw that it said, "To Cesney, I love you." Yes, my name was misspelled, but that made it even better when I turned it over to discover my present.
It was a Harry Potter puzzle. Put together and glued onto cardboard.
A few short years ago, my family was blessed with four new children. No, they were not infants. No, they were not strangers. Yes, they had a rough early life. Yes, it has been a challenge and will continue to be a challenge for their respective parents. But more importantly, no, they do not regret the decision that changed our family forever.
I don't get to spend much time with my cousins. I will admit that it is one of my only regrets in choosing to go to school so far away from home. I have missed out on the simple moments in my extended family's life and I sometimes wondered how that would affect our relationships later. But that all changed this Christmas.
Call me cheesy if you want to, but as I held that puzzle, I realized two things.
The first is that my cousin knew that I loved Harry Potter. I'm not even sure how he knew, perhaps someone told him, or the fact that I do nothing to hide my love could also be a factor. Regardless, the simple act of picking a theme for me that I love showed me that maybe I hadn't missed out on that much. That picture told me that he loved me, and despite our distance in age and miles, we would always share the bond of cousins who support each other.
The second thing I realized was the symbolism of the puzzle itself. Most of the puzzle was put together, but a couple of pieces weren't quite glued enough. As I put the puzzle back together the best that I could, it made me think of my entire family. We are all in our own different parts of the state and world, but as I looked at the individual pieces on the board it hit me. Puzzle pieces rely on each other to form the end product. The puzzle pieces are all individuals forming a larger part. No matter where my family ends up, no matter where we fall off to, we will always come back together like the puzzle. We will always be family, and we will always find a way back to one another.
Much like people, puzzle pieces are nothing when they stand alone. Each has its own pattern and shape, and it is impossible to know where the piece fits until you find the right spot. Sometimes, you try to force certain pieces to fit together, but ultimately, they belong in one place. The best part of putting together a puzzle is the very end. As you start to finish and you have only a few pieces left to go, you start to see what the creator of the puzzle intended. But it is only when you place the final piece in its perfect spot and you take a step back do you discover the truly amazing part.
All those little pieces came together to form a beautiful picture.
It was a Harry Potter puzzle. Put together and glued onto cardboard.
A few short years ago, my family was blessed with four new children. No, they were not infants. No, they were not strangers. Yes, they had a rough early life. Yes, it has been a challenge and will continue to be a challenge for their respective parents. But more importantly, no, they do not regret the decision that changed our family forever.
I don't get to spend much time with my cousins. I will admit that it is one of my only regrets in choosing to go to school so far away from home. I have missed out on the simple moments in my extended family's life and I sometimes wondered how that would affect our relationships later. But that all changed this Christmas.
Call me cheesy if you want to, but as I held that puzzle, I realized two things.
The first is that my cousin knew that I loved Harry Potter. I'm not even sure how he knew, perhaps someone told him, or the fact that I do nothing to hide my love could also be a factor. Regardless, the simple act of picking a theme for me that I love showed me that maybe I hadn't missed out on that much. That picture told me that he loved me, and despite our distance in age and miles, we would always share the bond of cousins who support each other.
The second thing I realized was the symbolism of the puzzle itself. Most of the puzzle was put together, but a couple of pieces weren't quite glued enough. As I put the puzzle back together the best that I could, it made me think of my entire family. We are all in our own different parts of the state and world, but as I looked at the individual pieces on the board it hit me. Puzzle pieces rely on each other to form the end product. The puzzle pieces are all individuals forming a larger part. No matter where my family ends up, no matter where we fall off to, we will always come back together like the puzzle. We will always be family, and we will always find a way back to one another.
Much like people, puzzle pieces are nothing when they stand alone. Each has its own pattern and shape, and it is impossible to know where the piece fits until you find the right spot. Sometimes, you try to force certain pieces to fit together, but ultimately, they belong in one place. The best part of putting together a puzzle is the very end. As you start to finish and you have only a few pieces left to go, you start to see what the creator of the puzzle intended. But it is only when you place the final piece in its perfect spot and you take a step back do you discover the truly amazing part.
All those little pieces came together to form a beautiful picture.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Remember
There are 365 days in a year. We all know this. That means that for 365 days, we have a chance to learn and change our lives, or the lives of those around us. Now, I'm not sure if I did anything this year to change anyone's life, but I do know that as 2011 winds down, there are things that I've done and experienced that have changed my life and the lives of people around me.
Sometimes you have to know when to say, "Life really sucks right now."
Living in a small community has been one of the greatest blessings and worst curses I've had in my life. Knowing everyone within a 30 miles radius is great, until you start losing them. I think I have cried more in the last year than my entire 23 years on this Earth. Losing someone is never easy, but when that person is taken long before their time, you can't help but curse the world for being so cruel. I found myself wondering 'why?' several times this year, but eventually, I realized that I would never get an answer. People are taken from us out of the blue; others lose a battle that no amount of men could help win. All we can do is stay here and pick up the pieces of our broken hearts.
Sometimes you have to know when to say, "Wow. Is this really happening?"
I have been blessed with an enormous amount of opportunity. In a few short months, I will be able to tell people that I am a teacher. I will also hopefully be able to tell them that I am a writer. This year has been such a whirlwind for me. I've been so busy student teaching, and there have been times when I just wanted to quit because the pressure was too high. But then I stop for a moment and think, "Would you really want it any other way?" No, I don't think I would. My life has been on a constant do this, now do this track, that I really don't think I could survive any other way. During this year, I sent my first manuscript to a publisher, and I was REJECTED!! Yeah, yeah, most people probably think I should be sad. But what people don't realize is that authors are rejected time and time again before anyone even looks at a piece of their writing. This moment was important to me because although I was rejected, I tried. I never thought I would even do that. For me, it really was and is happening.
Sometimes you have to know when....to laugh until your sides hurt.
I have cried and been overwhelmed more times this year than I can count. But, the only thing that surpasses those numbers are the number of times that I have laughed this year. I'm not a outwardly religious person. I don't believe in throwing my beliefs in someone's face, and I won't do it if I can avoid it. But just this once, I'll make an exception. I like to think that God gave us laughter not just to dry our tears or curb our suffering. I like to think that God gave us laughter because it represents the hope that we all need in our lives. Laughter represents that little ray of light we all need to know that things will get better. Because it will get better, it will. As long as we have sorrow, worry, and fear, I hope we never lose laughter and joy. This years winds down, and another year full of heartache, love, and laughter will follow it as it always has. But as I look to the new year, I have one final thing to remember.
Sometimes you have to know when...to let go and live.
Sometimes you have to know when to say, "Life really sucks right now."
Living in a small community has been one of the greatest blessings and worst curses I've had in my life. Knowing everyone within a 30 miles radius is great, until you start losing them. I think I have cried more in the last year than my entire 23 years on this Earth. Losing someone is never easy, but when that person is taken long before their time, you can't help but curse the world for being so cruel. I found myself wondering 'why?' several times this year, but eventually, I realized that I would never get an answer. People are taken from us out of the blue; others lose a battle that no amount of men could help win. All we can do is stay here and pick up the pieces of our broken hearts.
Sometimes you have to know when to say, "Wow. Is this really happening?"
I have been blessed with an enormous amount of opportunity. In a few short months, I will be able to tell people that I am a teacher. I will also hopefully be able to tell them that I am a writer. This year has been such a whirlwind for me. I've been so busy student teaching, and there have been times when I just wanted to quit because the pressure was too high. But then I stop for a moment and think, "Would you really want it any other way?" No, I don't think I would. My life has been on a constant do this, now do this track, that I really don't think I could survive any other way. During this year, I sent my first manuscript to a publisher, and I was REJECTED!! Yeah, yeah, most people probably think I should be sad. But what people don't realize is that authors are rejected time and time again before anyone even looks at a piece of their writing. This moment was important to me because although I was rejected, I tried. I never thought I would even do that. For me, it really was and is happening.
Sometimes you have to know when....to laugh until your sides hurt.
I have cried and been overwhelmed more times this year than I can count. But, the only thing that surpasses those numbers are the number of times that I have laughed this year. I'm not a outwardly religious person. I don't believe in throwing my beliefs in someone's face, and I won't do it if I can avoid it. But just this once, I'll make an exception. I like to think that God gave us laughter not just to dry our tears or curb our suffering. I like to think that God gave us laughter because it represents the hope that we all need in our lives. Laughter represents that little ray of light we all need to know that things will get better. Because it will get better, it will. As long as we have sorrow, worry, and fear, I hope we never lose laughter and joy. This years winds down, and another year full of heartache, love, and laughter will follow it as it always has. But as I look to the new year, I have one final thing to remember.
Sometimes you have to know when...to let go and live.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
If My Life Were A Christmas Movie/Musical
A little known fact about me: I'm a sucker for terrible movies...and terrible television. I'm not really sure why, but I am sucked in by the worst kinds of shows and movies. No, I do not mean reality TV, that is just stupid. I mean those movies they play on the weekends just to fill time, and the television shows that you secretly watch but never want to tell anyone about. (Even though I do). As I contemplated what I was going to talk about for Christmas, I decided that I would just talk about my favorite thing to do during the holiday...and that is watch horrible movies. But, I'm going one step further. Since I am technically a writer, I guess I'll just create a little Christmas magic for you. Enjoy. If my life were a Christmas movie/musical.....
1) Everyone would love Christmas...except an old man...or a woman with some secret reason for hating the holiday.
This is a beautiful thing about Christmas movies. Everyone loves the holiday, save for a couple of people. If my life were a Christmas movie, I would spend all day listening to carols and drinking hot cocoa. By the fire, of course. I love Christmas, and one of my favorite things about the holiday is the music. I would probably listen to it all year if it was socially acceptable. I know quite a few people (insert old man and woman) that loath Christmas music, but I've just decided that they are sad, sad individuals. Usually, they are just lonely, and if my life were a movie, I would spend the entire two hour spot trying to spread the Christmas cheer, only to discover that they just want to be invited for Christmas supper. What an easy fix!
2) I would fall in love in 5-10 minutes.
It's true, I would. If I were in a movie, I would be ice skating (on a perfect rink, mind you) or grocery shopping. Somehow, even though I am a skilled ice skater and/or grocery cart driver, I would run into some random guy. When we finally righted ourselves, we would gaze into each others eyes and BAM! Love. Right there. In the middle of the taco shell aisle. (Or ice rink as the Zamboni drives by). If my life were a Christmas musical, we would spend the next 5 minutes singing a duet called, "I never thought I'd find love at a super market (or ice skating rink)." It would be an instant hit, and we would make millions on the download profits. IF ONLY. But, sadly, dream man and I would break up 30 minutes later because a former boyfriend of mine decides to profess his love or I find out he has a kid (that isn't his, but I assume and you know what that does...). Oh, the horror!
3) My family would be crazy.
Wait...didn't I say this was fictional? But really, I would have a completely neurotic family that controlled my life, and I would spend the entire movie (up until the last 10 minutes) wishing that I could somehow escape them. I would sing a power ballad, and the camera would fade away from me sitting on my daybed holding a stuffed unicorn. Eventually, I would realize that my family is what I need and they really aren't as bad as I thought they were. Which leads me to the climax of the movie...
4) I realize that the true meaning of Christmas is love.
Yes, love. Love for your family. Love for Christmas. Love for that random guy you met in the supermarket (or ice skating). I would realize that my family loves me, random guy and I would fix our problems, and he would have Christmas dinner with my family. (Because his is conveniently absent, of course). If my life were a Christmas movie, all of these things would come to me in the final minutes of the movie, and we would all live happily ever after.
Sadly, my life is not a Christmas movie.
But, that doesn't mean some of the aspects of my Christmas movie are not true. I mean, my family is crazy. I do love them, though. Dearly. I don't try to convert people into loving Christmas, but I don't stop listening to Christmas music if they happen to be in my house or car. Hello! It only happens once a year! I never really understood why Christmas movies (or any movie) needed to have people fall in love in the most random of ways. Do I automatically fall in love after tackling a guy? The answer is no. I do not.
We celebrate the holiday for many reasons, and one of my favorite reasons is because of love. Cheesy, I know.Christmas always has a way of bringing out the best and worst in all of us, but I always remember the best. Eating too much food with my brother, playing cards with my extended family, and yes, we really do sit by a fire. I really wouldn't have it any other way. So maybe my life isn't and won't be a movie/musical, but honestly, who could deal with all that singing anyway? It's exhausting. I'll keep my semi-exciting life and my crazy family. And you, my friends....
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
1) Everyone would love Christmas...except an old man...or a woman with some secret reason for hating the holiday.
This is a beautiful thing about Christmas movies. Everyone loves the holiday, save for a couple of people. If my life were a Christmas movie, I would spend all day listening to carols and drinking hot cocoa. By the fire, of course. I love Christmas, and one of my favorite things about the holiday is the music. I would probably listen to it all year if it was socially acceptable. I know quite a few people (insert old man and woman) that loath Christmas music, but I've just decided that they are sad, sad individuals. Usually, they are just lonely, and if my life were a movie, I would spend the entire two hour spot trying to spread the Christmas cheer, only to discover that they just want to be invited for Christmas supper. What an easy fix!
2) I would fall in love in 5-10 minutes.
It's true, I would. If I were in a movie, I would be ice skating (on a perfect rink, mind you) or grocery shopping. Somehow, even though I am a skilled ice skater and/or grocery cart driver, I would run into some random guy. When we finally righted ourselves, we would gaze into each others eyes and BAM! Love. Right there. In the middle of the taco shell aisle. (Or ice rink as the Zamboni drives by). If my life were a Christmas musical, we would spend the next 5 minutes singing a duet called, "I never thought I'd find love at a super market (or ice skating rink)." It would be an instant hit, and we would make millions on the download profits. IF ONLY. But, sadly, dream man and I would break up 30 minutes later because a former boyfriend of mine decides to profess his love or I find out he has a kid (that isn't his, but I assume and you know what that does...). Oh, the horror!
3) My family would be crazy.
Wait...didn't I say this was fictional? But really, I would have a completely neurotic family that controlled my life, and I would spend the entire movie (up until the last 10 minutes) wishing that I could somehow escape them. I would sing a power ballad, and the camera would fade away from me sitting on my daybed holding a stuffed unicorn. Eventually, I would realize that my family is what I need and they really aren't as bad as I thought they were. Which leads me to the climax of the movie...
4) I realize that the true meaning of Christmas is love.
Yes, love. Love for your family. Love for Christmas. Love for that random guy you met in the supermarket (or ice skating). I would realize that my family loves me, random guy and I would fix our problems, and he would have Christmas dinner with my family. (Because his is conveniently absent, of course). If my life were a Christmas movie, all of these things would come to me in the final minutes of the movie, and we would all live happily ever after.
Sadly, my life is not a Christmas movie.
But, that doesn't mean some of the aspects of my Christmas movie are not true. I mean, my family is crazy. I do love them, though. Dearly. I don't try to convert people into loving Christmas, but I don't stop listening to Christmas music if they happen to be in my house or car. Hello! It only happens once a year! I never really understood why Christmas movies (or any movie) needed to have people fall in love in the most random of ways. Do I automatically fall in love after tackling a guy? The answer is no. I do not.
We celebrate the holiday for many reasons, and one of my favorite reasons is because of love. Cheesy, I know.Christmas always has a way of bringing out the best and worst in all of us, but I always remember the best. Eating too much food with my brother, playing cards with my extended family, and yes, we really do sit by a fire. I really wouldn't have it any other way. So maybe my life isn't and won't be a movie/musical, but honestly, who could deal with all that singing anyway? It's exhausting. I'll keep my semi-exciting life and my crazy family. And you, my friends....
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Chitty Chitty Uncle Buck
The flower girl walked slowly in front of us, haphazardly dropping blossoms from a catalpa tree on an aisle littered with sticks and old leaves. I wore capris, and he, denim jean shorts. My hair adorned with flowers, my arm firmly looped in his, our party made its way across the yard to the makeshift alter between two trees. Suddenly, the flower girl turned into a preacher, and the ceremony began. After a hasty vow exchange and a couple, "sure why nots?", we were pronounced man and wife.
I had just married Kelsey Thompson.
Now, now, before you get yourself all worked up, you should know this really didn't happen. Wait, yes it did. But, last time I checked, a 5 year old little sister did not count as a preacher, AND, I did not kiss him. So, I guess I should retract my statement and say that I almost married Kelsey. But then, I almost married a lot of people. (Different story)
I have been blessed with a wonderful set of friends throughout my life. Some have been around for a short time, others have stayed only a small piece of my life, and then, I have the life-timers. The final set are the ones that you can't even remember meeting because you've known each other so long it is just easier to say, "I've known them my whole life."I think that it is rare to find friends like Kelsey and Carmen Thompson, and my brother Colten and I are very lucky to have them in our lives.
Okay, so I'm lucky....who cares?
I only recently remembered my "wedding" after a look out my window over Thanksgiving break. I have done many weird things in my life, but when it came to my experiences with the Thompson kids, there really wasn't a better definition of weird. (Not to mention awkward). Those two, in their own way, helped to shape who I am today. They showed me what true friendship was at a very young age, and they never asked for anything in return. We embraced the weird in each other, and I think that it is important for people to have friends that bring that out in you.
As I've grown into an adult, I have begun to realize how much I truly loved my childhood. I loved that I had wonderful parents that encouraged me to try new things all the time and to never let go of what I loved to do. I loved that I had an extended family that never forgot that it was the relationships that were important...and that pinatas were not our friends. I loved that I made two of my best friends at such a young age, and to this day, we can recite lines from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Uncle Buck because we've seen it so many times.
Ultimately, it is the little things.
Today, my relationship with Kelsey and Carmen is not the same as it once was. As we have grown older, we have learned to adjust to the change. The truly lucky piece is that we haven't lost the friendship we established those years ago. If anything, our friendship is stronger in some aspects. I mean, Carmen has gotten so much better at marrying us in my parents' backyard; she doesn't forget words or anything. But really, I am so blessed to have these two in my life, and I write this because it is important to remember where you came from before you step out into the world to find a different piece of yourself.
And the part where if you don't remember, they will "remind" you someday with horrible pictures and stories.
I had just married Kelsey Thompson.
Now, now, before you get yourself all worked up, you should know this really didn't happen. Wait, yes it did. But, last time I checked, a 5 year old little sister did not count as a preacher, AND, I did not kiss him. So, I guess I should retract my statement and say that I almost married Kelsey. But then, I almost married a lot of people. (Different story)
I have been blessed with a wonderful set of friends throughout my life. Some have been around for a short time, others have stayed only a small piece of my life, and then, I have the life-timers. The final set are the ones that you can't even remember meeting because you've known each other so long it is just easier to say, "I've known them my whole life."I think that it is rare to find friends like Kelsey and Carmen Thompson, and my brother Colten and I are very lucky to have them in our lives.
Okay, so I'm lucky....who cares?
I only recently remembered my "wedding" after a look out my window over Thanksgiving break. I have done many weird things in my life, but when it came to my experiences with the Thompson kids, there really wasn't a better definition of weird. (Not to mention awkward). Those two, in their own way, helped to shape who I am today. They showed me what true friendship was at a very young age, and they never asked for anything in return. We embraced the weird in each other, and I think that it is important for people to have friends that bring that out in you.
As I've grown into an adult, I have begun to realize how much I truly loved my childhood. I loved that I had wonderful parents that encouraged me to try new things all the time and to never let go of what I loved to do. I loved that I had an extended family that never forgot that it was the relationships that were important...and that pinatas were not our friends. I loved that I made two of my best friends at such a young age, and to this day, we can recite lines from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Uncle Buck because we've seen it so many times.
Ultimately, it is the little things.
Today, my relationship with Kelsey and Carmen is not the same as it once was. As we have grown older, we have learned to adjust to the change. The truly lucky piece is that we haven't lost the friendship we established those years ago. If anything, our friendship is stronger in some aspects. I mean, Carmen has gotten so much better at marrying us in my parents' backyard; she doesn't forget words or anything. But really, I am so blessed to have these two in my life, and I write this because it is important to remember where you came from before you step out into the world to find a different piece of yourself.
And the part where if you don't remember, they will "remind" you someday with horrible pictures and stories.
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